YouDusseault: Orphanage Visit

When you meet your child on their gotcha day, you can ask permission to visit their orphanage. Certain orphanages are more open to visitors than others, some cannot be visited because of circumstances such as outbreaks of an illness, and some are so far from the capitol cities of each province that a visit may not be feasible. Guangdong province is pretty amenable to letting families visit orphanages. Each orphanage decides how much access they will allow families who do visit.

On Thursday morning we were up early to meet our guide for the day, Grace, at 8:00. (Grace is precious, and I could have sat in that van all day and asked her questions about China! And, oh, how she cares about those children!!!) James' orphanage in Huizhou is a 3 hour drive from our hotel in Guangzhou. It took nearly an hour just to reach the edge of Guangzhou. And then we had about an hour and a half on a freeway through some of the countryside. Rural Guangdong is very pretty. It's hard to compare it to anything in the states. The landscape reminded me a little of the coast of Northern California...minus the coast? We seemed to exit the freeway at a poorer section of Huizhou. Our guide and the driver kept commenting on how large Huizhou is. This is confusing to me because the population is ONLY 4 million compared to the ~15 million in Guangzhou. Maybe it is more spread out? When we got to the more modern section of Huizhou it was quite a beautiful city. Very large boulevards and beautiful modern skyscrapers. There is a section called West Lake which is so picturesque, where the roads run along the West Lake River, a tributary of the Pearl River.

Our driver used GPS to find the orphanage, even though he had just been there the week before with Brian. Cities in China are laid out NOTHING like they are in the states, because they are SO much older. James and all of the other Children from Huizhou CWI (Comprehensive Welfare Institute) were moved to a new facility on October 26th of this year, so we visited the new facility first. I am so conflicted describing what his orphanage was like. Just know that my stomach feels ill just thinking about it, and it is 1000% better than the old orphanage where he spent the majority of his life. The pictures will speak loudly. The reason I am conflicted is because EVERY person on staff at the orphanage was so proud of the new building and so elated to be there. They wanted to show off every square inch, and I think we were allowed so much access to the buildings because of this. It is brand new, and clean, and shiny. AND ENTIRELY INSTITUTIONAL. I really feel like vomiting and I am crying right now just from describing it to adults. And then to think that this is a step up for all of the children living there.

When we walked into the campus (it is walled-off and gated like a prison) nannies and older children started yelling to Guo Guo from the balconies of the older childrens' building. Everyone seemed to know him. First we were shown the building where the younger children live. The toddlers were eating lunch in a big open room. It seemed like they were all just wandering the room, and that the nannies would scoop some rice stew-ish looking soupy stuff into their mouths when they wandered up. We caused quite a commotion so it's hard to say what a regular lunch time looks like. We had toys and presents for the kids and they were spotted immediately. We were told not to take pictures of the childrens' faces. Except I had a gift for one of the children from his mother who is waiting in Texas, and I was allowed to photograph him and take video for his parents. That was awesome! And of course he was surrounded by other kiddos so I got pictures of them too! The scene was chaos, though. All the nannies wanted to hold Guo Guo and a bunch of kiddos escaped through the gate into the hallway and latched onto us and the toys we had brought. I wish we would have had a chance to hug and squeeze them all, but it was just too chaotic. And Henry was very overwhelmed, I think, and was being very uncooperative and clingy. There's no way he understood the magnitude of where we were and what we were doing. Eventually we moved on from the little kids, and passed a room with a few babies in walkers and then a couple rooms full of metal cribs. Many had babies in them, laying under THICK blankets. We went downstairs and saw the play rooms and the class room.

And then we walked to a different building to meet the orphanage director. She was wonderful. We met in a large waiting room and she offered us tea and had loads of questions for us. About our family, where we are from, why we came to China for a child. She was SO extremely grateful to us. Everyone expressed so much gratitude that we would come and do this. I felt like we were cheating them somehow. Yes, I know James' life will be SO much better because we came, but I really feel like we are the ones who should be grateful. And we are.

After several minutes, she asked if we would like to stay for lunch with her and some of the nannies. OF COURSE! We walked to yet another building, upstairs to a sort of dining room with several round tables with large lazy susans on them. First we were given "meat soup", and told that Chinese people always start their meals with a bowl of soup. It was...interesting. I didn't eat much because I couldn't identify what animal the "meat" was from. It was still on the bone. I mostly just pretended to be busy with James and let Beau deal with Henry who was NOT having it either. But then came the main dishes! Bowls of rice and then there were 4 large bowls of various things to put on the rice. YUM! But it was a little intimidating trying to feed James, on my lap, with chopsticks, in front of the women who had known and fed him his entire life. Finally, one of the nannies asked me if she could feed him. Yes. Thank you. I learned a lot about his life just by watching. They asked if we'd been feeding him because they thought he looked hungry. Yes. It's almost all we do. She started scooping heaping spoonfuls of rice, etc. into his tiny mouth. And he swallowed almost without chewing. HURRY! That's all I could think. We have 30 mouths to feed! HURRY! Now I get why he seems to enjoy such leisurely meals with us. There is no hurry. And it's actually perfect because Henry is just about the world's slowest eater.

When we were all done, we went downstairs to say our goodbyes. I am so glad that we got to meet those women. They all seemed to love James. He really does have such an easy personality. He was a favorite among the nannies because of this. And I really think they loved him as much as they could. He never shed a single tear the entire day and I think his smile was even bigger when we got back in the van with him. NEVER AGAIN, my boy. No more metal cribs, and whitewashed walls (HA! Just wait till you see our house!), and bowls of food forced down your throat. No more being loved because you are so easy. We will love you NO MATTER WHAT.

We drove to the old orphanage. It is about to be torn down, I think, and made into something more modern. The gates were closed but we could see the exterior. I won't even bother to describe it. I've seen enough pictures of the inside. I never want to see another. Those kids really are in a better place. But not the best place. Not in a family.

Pictures. You cannot un-see them. Beware.

Our driver and Grace. I am SO mad we didn't get a picture with her. I hope we see her again.

Surviving the drive.

Still obsessed with Cheerios!

West Lake area of Huizhou

The new Huizhou CWI. Cozy, no?

The campus is huge.

Another fun and sickening fact is that about half of the buildings are empty, just waiting for orphans and uncared-for elderly.

The ONLY play structure. There is hardly any grass. Huizhou orphans learn their playground lessons on concrete.

A wall celebrating the children adopted from the orphanage. Tiffany, your picture is at the top, right!

Another "play" space. fun.

This tiny guy has a mama just DYING to get her arms around him!

The girl holding James in this picture is a 14 year old orphan. Grace said when she was there with Brian last week that this girl followed them everywhere and hugged onto her "like a monkey" crying that she wanted a mother and father. I can't take it.